G’night Mate: Three Aussie horror movies to thrill ya and chill ya!
I want you to know about some fun Australian horror movies! I recently spent five weeks in Australia working on a TV show! While I had an absolutely great time, I also had to avoid Covid-19. So, I got to spend a lot of time in my hotel room, watching movies! I give you three “should be” classics every horror fan needs in their brain pan.
(To see what I did in Australia, just watch Young Rock, Season 2 Episode 7, available now!!!)
100 Bloody Acres (2012)
I have never been so happily surprised by a movie as the time I rolled the dice on a screening of 100 Bloody Acres on March 6th, 2020. Yup! Just about a week before the lockdown began. All I knew about the movie was that Damon Herriman (he played Charles Manson in both Mindhunter and Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood) had a lead role and that it’s a comedy/horror. Watched it! Loved it! So, when I happened upon it again while staying in Gold Coast, Queensland, I knew that revisiting this movie would be a 100% guaranteed win.
To give you just a taste of the plot, I’ll tell you this much: Our movie opens on Reg driving his delivery truck through the beautiful countryside of Adelaide and discovering a crashed vehicle. Reg sees an unconscious man among the wreckage so he hops out to help. Once the man’s loaded into the truck, Reg tries to drive him to safety, but he’s soon interrupted by the astonishing Sophie (Anna McGahan, Spirit of the Game, Project Eden, and the Picnic at Hanging Rock miniseries), who needs help getting to a music festival.
Reg is just too smitten to say no, so he agrees to help Sophie and her two buddies, James and Wes. It all leads to driving, flirting, farming, screaming, maiming, munching, tripping out at a weird little amusement park, and a whole lot of covering up murders.
Back to 03/06/2020 for a moment. What unfolded that night was an absolutely hilarious movie-watching experience, a great Q&A with Herriman, Angus Sampson (The Mule, Insidious), Oliver Ackland (The Originals), and producer Julie Ryan. Then we had a nice session of “let’s all hang out, right here in the theater, and chitchat for 30 more minutes!” I love when that happens, a magical Hollywood moment!
Sadly, I completely forgot to mention to Angus Sampson that he and I, as well as actor Skyler Caleb (Awaken the Shadowman, Wrightwood), have all played sons of the legendary Jean Smart (Hacks, Fargo season 2, Waking, so much more). If you’re reading this, Angus, welcome to Smart’s Kids. I’m thinking about making T-shirts.
At the moment, you can watch 100 Bloody Acres on several streaming services. But, I strongly recommend buying or renting this movie. It’s so funny and so full of surprises, but the biggest reason why you should spend your money on this movie is because when it was released in 2012… It wasn’t.
Movie piracy was so bad in 2012 that 100 Bloody Acres got pirated and bootlegged before it ever got a premier, an opening weekend, a box office run, or a chance to achieve the global love that it truly deserves. So, shell out a couple of bucks. You’ll love it as much as Reg loves Sophie!
After the movie, be sure to search for “Morgan’s Organic” on Youtube to watch some funny TV ads created by the characters. That’s as much as you get. Watch it tonight!
Watch the trailer here.
Streaming: Tubi, Kanopy, and available for rental.
Razorback (1984)
Big TRIGGER WARNING for this one. Razorback largely focuses on the hunting of wild boars and kangaroos. They spend a lot of time in a slaughterhouse/canning facility with some very disgusting imagery. I can’t find a straight answer on whether or not real animal parts were shown, but it all looks way too real for this guy.
So, why did I even watch this movie? Well, because I’ve spent years hearing that Razorback is a must-see movie that asks the burning question: “What if Jaws was a killer pig in the Australian outback?” And then it answers the hell out of that question for 95 minutes of sweaty, dusty, bloody, muddy, squealing terror!
Partially inspired by the absolutely horrifying events of the Lindy Chamberlain case, Razorback begins with a similar tragedy. You may remember that Chamberlain’s very controversial trial was depicted in A Cry in the Dark (1988, Meryl Streep, Sam Neill). It’s the movie that inspired Elaine to insensitively quip, “Maybe a dingo ate your baby,” on Seinfeld.
Similarly, grandfather Jake Cullen (Bill Kerr, Bushfire Moon) is babysitting his infant grandson in his remote cottage. Suddenly, a GIGANTIC wild boar smashes all the way through his house with one nightmarish charge! The baby just happens to be in its path of destruction. Jake can’t believe what he’s just seen and nobody else can believe what he says. The locals think he killed his grandson, then destroyed his own home to back up his tall tale. They even arrest and prosecute him for it! He’s acquitted, but is he truly free? Or is he now trapped in a prison of his own making? A prison called… Revenge.
Soon, American reporter Beth Winters arrives, working on a story about the cruelty of kangaroo hunting. She bumps into Jake who’s now 100% committed to only hunting for the razorback, but he lets her know about a canning facility called Petpak, and it’s there that Beth runs afoul of Benny and Dicko, the Baker brothers.
Benny, the slightly sane brother, never hesitates to backup Dicko, who has sinister plans for Beth.
After a few days without contact, Beth’s husband, Carl, comes from America to find his missing wife. Carl (Gregory Harrison, Trilogy of Terror, Love N’ Dancing, and so much more) is immediately told to check with the Baker brothers and he quickly realizes these creeps hold the key to Beth’s disappearance. What ensues is a hallucinogenic hell-ride through dehydration, near starvation, severe sunburn, and a dozen chances to be devoured by a monstrous pig. If you thought Jaws popping out of the water was scary, you haven’t seen Carl falling into the razorback’s watering hole while it’s full of wild hogs!
And just whose idea was it to make Razorback so trippy, funny, terrifying, bone dry, yet soaking wet all at the same time? None other than Russell Mulcahy. That’s right, baby! This movie shares directorial DNA with Highlander, Resident Evil: Extinction, and over 100 other movies, TV shows, and music videos, including Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”
Turn around, bright eyes, there’s a Razorback behind ya!!! But remember:
NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH. This movie is grrrrrrrrrrrross.
Watch the trailer here.
Streaming: Available for rental.
Howling III aka Howling III: Marsupials (1987)
Wow. What is to be said about The Howling III? Is it really all that necessary to watch? Uh… Sort of. When I watched this movie alone, it looked like the filmmakers and cast had an absolutely great time making it. So, I think the best way to watch The Howling III would be to pair it with Joe Dante’s The Howling (1981) and watch both with the right group of friends and refreshments. There’s plenty of goofy, gross, gooey gore to keep you all entertained.
Chances are, if you’re visiting Married to Horror, you already know that The Howling is absolutely mandatory viewing for horror fans. Directed by one of my absolute favorites, Joe Dante (Gremlins, The ‘Burbs, Matinee), The Howling is the very scary story of a reporter (Dee Wallace, E.T., Await The Dawn) who survives an encounter with a serial killer and is then sent to cover a story in a mountain town populated by, you guessed it, WEREWOLVES!!!
The Howling II: … Your Sister is a Werewolf (yes, that’s how the title is written on IMDb) is almost completely disconnected from the first. Some even say that it’s very likely that The Howling II’s script was just a rewrite of an unused vampire script, renamed and marketed as a sequel. Not the first or last time something like that has happened (Troll 2, 10 Cloverfield Lane). Which is why I think it’s perfectly fine to watch The Howling, then skip to The Howling III.
Plot time! A college professor is trying to prove that werewolves exist, and then we’re barely introduced to a weird family living in the outback. Young, beautiful weirdo Jerboa decides to run away from home and catches a bus to Sydney.
Once there, Jerboa instantly catches the eye of Donny, an American filmmaker who’s in town filming “Shape Shifters Part 8.” That little joke is even funnier today because there are now eight movies in The Howling film franchise. Coincidence?
Donny casts Jerboa in his movie and she quickly adapts to the glitz and glamor of city life. But when she becomes pregnant, more questions arise and more suffering ensues. Soon, possibly too soon, Jerboa gives birth to an icky, gooey baby werewolf, then, as an evolutionary test, coaxes him to climb up her abdomen into… her KANGAROO POUCH!?!?
Okay, SPOILER ALERT: don’t read beyond this point if you like secrets!!! Last chance!!!
You’re probably wondering why this movie is also known as The Howling III: Marsupials. Simple! These particular lycanthropes aren’t strictly werewolves. Ever heard of the Tasmanian Tiger, aka Thylacine? It was a real marsupial that was tragically hunted to extinction. You can find footage of a living Thylacine on Youtube, and that same footage is used in this movie. The legend here is that when the last Tasmanian Tiger was killed, his spirit shattered and flew into the bodies local men and women, giving them the ability to transform into fierce beasts. As one character suggests, they’re part lion, tiger, kangaroo, dingo, and devil so they were hunted to extinction by orders of the Pope. Thankfully, Jerboa, Thylo, and the rest of their family simply call themselves werewolves to save time.
Watch the trailer here.
Streaming: Roku, Vudu, Tubi, Redbox, Plex, and available for rental.
And that’s all my time for this article! Find me on Instagram, Twitter, and Tiktok (@bigstevemoulton)! Enjoy your movies, enjoy your summer, and as one of my Australian friends might say, put on your budgie smugglers and go for a dip in the drink, mate!
More from Married to Horror
Are you interested in seeing MORE animal-themed horror? Check out “When Animals Attack!” watchlist that includes our top 15 animal-themed horror recommendations and other bonus gems!
Would you like to see more lists? Go to our Lists section! Find more general Married to Horror selections by checking out our recommendations and take a peek at our Master Watch List where you can find an array of horror films sorted by title, platform, rating, and more!
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